g'night: death machine!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Fuck you, Seasonique.

The idea of alleviating my horrible horrible migraines and only having four periods a year sounded like angels blowing crack smoke into my lungs when my doctor suggested Seasonique. I was skeptical to go against Mother Nature, but Doc assured me nothing would go wrong. Eight months fucking later, I CAN'T SEE! Sort of. Obviously, my vision is clear enough to type this.

I have been to several optometrists.. which to their medical knowledge thought it was conjunctivitis. A doctor... now an opthamalogist which is costing me $200 a visit. Who the fuck can afford health insurance at my age with my income? Sure, I can buy $200 shoes, but that's not the point. That is not something I purchase monthly.

One of the side effects of Seasonique is "blurred vision." What I have is Chronic Dry Eyes. Doesn't sound so terrible, does it? Apparently, I can't produce tears! Richard says, "Of course that would be something you would get." Shut up, Richard.

Opthamalogist has given me a month supply of artificial tears to reduce the blurryness, though it seems to make it worse. The other option is to insert plugs into my tear ducts. Guess how much that is? $300 each eye + $200 for the visit. Where the fuck am I going to get $800? I should start a car wash or something... or just give me money. Somebody. I'll cut your hair for $100.

If only I could sue Seasonique to pay for the plugs and my tuition for MUD.